a ghost between us

5:21 p.m. x 2003-11-17

and now the beat inside of me
is a sort of a cold breeze and i've
never any feeling inside
around me
i bring my body
carry it to another world
...i know i live...

all day the weirdest thing happened - all day my body and whatever it is that moves you in any emotional way was SCREAMING at me, practically, to cry and tear out of whatever room i was in. it just came at unexpected moments throughout the day, and then disappeared within seconds. i didn't even do my little stupid "don'tcrydon'tcrydont'cry!" thing i just turned red, sniffled, and stopped. all day. i'm really disappointing myself.

but if i'm sure i could take a time-out and breathe for two seconds everything would go alright. i don't know why i've been like this, you know, because i got a new sweater and i positively love this sweater i'm never taking it off, iloveit iloveit iloveit.

so i'm happy about my sweater. and not really about anything else. i'm sorry.

no i'm happy for the kennedy men, my mom gave it to me early and it's SO GOOD. so i'm carrying around that and the lennon biography and i feel a lot better.

i'm sure in no time at all i'm going to feel a lot better, because i have my sweater and kennedy and lennon and that's all i need...

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11