8:10 p.m. x 2006-05-30

HOLY MARY I'M EXHAUSTED. i'm holding off falling asleep until tonight so my sleep doesn't get any stranger. maybe i out to let it, but...not in the mood...today began as very many days i've had lately but then i went on a walk (typical) and had REVELATORY HEAT STROKE. swear to you. my chest started pounding and i collapsed in the middle of my route. it sucked, but i made it home. i was crying and it was swealtering and my chest very loudly proclaimed "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!" and i HAD to listen.

SO THIS IS THE START OF SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL, RIGHT? haha, heatstroke is always a good sign of things to come. i just want to breathe. today though is the first day i'm having these thoughts i usually have and i'm just tired of it...and i want to get away from it as opposed to trying to get away from it and not being able to. today i went to think about it and thought..."NO" and fell FLAT ASLEEP. blissfully. and combed through old fiction. i'm well on my way to finishing a piece that i've been working on for ages that i'm sooo proud of...

i got to talk to my aunt and to clare today! yes!

...and every breath we drew was hallelujah...

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)