you want to kill the sun, blot out the stars...

5:32 p.m. x 2003-09-09

my day had worse moodswings than me today.

after keeping a somewhat midlevel mood all day, i began feeling my supports slipping at the end of lunch, hitting a very strange, calm low on the bus. i then proceeded to get online for a moment to check the progress on a few random mp3s, and to find a picture to play with in another layout. as i randomly clicked through various links, i was momentarily roused out of my depressive stupor and actually took a good long look at dax riggs. i never noticed he was cute @_@;;; !!! by my definition, anyway. i always thought he had a beautiful voice but i never contemplated his physical body.

he's like a little twisted jack from the bayou. mmm...i like that.

so yes - today wasn't the worst day i've had lately. i won't say i'm on the rise but today was a good patch. i'd like to have more days that contain good parts like indulging in lusty adolescent crushes on unattainable rock stars and warbling obscure 80s pop songs when i believe no one is looking. more than anything, though...i'd just like to leave and not ever think about this place again. the ending scene of "ghost world" is looking very appealing right now - to just disappear. hop on a bus without any warning and get a fresh start and still be k@ri but not have that mean anything to anybody. MMM that'd be fabulous. just me, a bus, brighton luggage, and a cute little dax-jack hybrid kinda doing the sal paradise/neal moriarty thing. i wouldn't mind that at all ^-^.

huh, i'm in two clubs, i may audition for a play tomorrow, i have two new potential friends, and i'm going to clare's on life is not complete shit right now. i just hope the good continues to counter the bad as well as it did today. goodnight everybody <3.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11