her melody wants her desperately

10:30 p.m. x 2005-05-01

three more impending gifts: "eyes without a face", a book about autism (seeing in pictures) and a 50$ giftcard for itunes. i sat down and thought about things very hard today and then told my mother the consensus i came to between myself and circumstances...now i'm not totally certain i meant it (i think i've told five different people at five different times that i intend to learn to drive, and the only truth in any of that is i only half mean it...i think i'd better do all of this while i'm not living at home).

i think gym is a required course in this field i'm studying. it's listed for the first semester (in a model schedule). that's pretty funny.

the irony is...which i've gotta be happy about...all of the public universities i've checked out in-state BLOW. absolutely, with one acception that is still not where i would like to be situated (but if i'd gotten in there, it would've been cool - no sleep lost, though). this place, which i avidly didn't want to have anything to do with, is situated in a place i have no qualms with more or less (i don't have to be there very long and i don't hate it - !!!). it's looking better and better. and now i don't have to run around like the chickens that bethany sees in the parking lots because...i'm going to start college, and in a year or twelve credits (whichever first) i can go...to...i'm thinking...

...well, someplace else entirely. i'd like (LOOOOVE) to complete my masters at NYU. and to get my doctorate at an ivy. standford is in california, which is a deterrent...brown looks really cute and is in the north-east. i'm leaning towards it.

yeah. i'm totally going to kick this psych program's ass.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11