You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

I AM MAD FUCKING INFATUATED WITH A SOFTER WORLD.

a softer world, beirut, walking to get coffee in the rain, the notebooks of malte laurids brigge, belle & sebastian, that stone structure down the street from school, bunuel, my embryonic concept for an acceptable tattoo, my short week this week, the slightly extended easter weekend, convalescence, my AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS JIMMY, CLARE, KARA, LEXI, AKASHA, AMANDA, ALIYA, AMBER, MELODY, JEREMY, KYLE, CATIE...i am feeling a renewed sense of badass. more invigorating than ever.

in further news, a little more gross: there's a kid in my one class who likes me, and i definitely do not like him, and he's applying some manipulative tactics to get me to spend time with him and it's creeping the shit out of me. i'm a polite person. despite all (aaagh!), i am, but i am going to exercise some extreme standoffishness, feats of which have never been witnessed before with regards to me...friendly and open to a dangerous degree...i have to go on a field trip with this kid (and, like, six or seven other people) to new york, with an eternity of a bus ride...i'll be armed with a book and my ipod, a very likely sleeping brittany to sit beside me, and all the creepy asocial behavior i can muster. i think another girl in that class is cool with me, and my professor has sensed that he's been weird to me, so i think i can build up a resistance. that'd be cool.

or i could just ditch the trip all together. i could still go to new york, i'd just go with my mom. she'll be there the same weekend, and i could stay at a hotel. hmm.

i wish i'd known in advance about montreal. i'm making it my mission to get up there this summer. also i want to organize the very potential trip to norway my dad wants to take. i think it'd be a very very positive experience to see the motherland, and it'd be a badass opportunity to bond with my dad. catching up on what's happening with each others' lives, doing some crazy norwegian shit. recently my dad and i bonded over our mutual bewilderment/fascination of groups - organized religion, cults, greek life - we share all the same views, and i wonder if that's nature or nurture for you? we never discuss stuff like that on a regular basis. we'll just now and again strike up a conversation about something and discover we feel the same way.

also cool: "black raven tea" by eastern shore tea co. i've tried a few of their teas and they haven't really wowed me, but this one does. now i'll be taking advantage of my roommate's departure-to-party by getting down to some BERGMANIA.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)