You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

"we gotta find ourselves a smurfette."

"smurfette?"

"mm-hmm, not some tightass middlesex chick, you know. like this cute little blond that'll get down and dirty with the guys like smurfette does."

"smurfette doesn't fuck."

"that's bullshit. smurfette fucks all the other smurfs why do you think papa smurf made her? because all the other smurfs were getting too horny."

"no no no not vanity - i heard he was a homosexual."

"okay well you know what then she fucks them while vanity watches."

"okay - well then what about papa smurf i mean he must get in on the action."

"know what he does? he films the gang bang then later on - he beats off to the tape!"

"first of all, papa smurf didn't create smurfette, gargamel did. she was sent in as gargamels evil spy! with the intention of destroying the smurf village! but the overwhelming goodness of the smurf way of life transformed her! and as for the whole gang bang scenario...heh, it just couldn't happen! smurfs are asexual! they don't even have...reproductive organs under those little...white...pants. it's just so logical you know? about being a smurf. i mean...what's the point of living...if you don't have a dick???"

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)