5:06 p.m. x 2006-09-07

i asked about my old best friend today. i ran into a girl who i know still speaks to her. i asked her what is going on in her life.

she is going by a different name now. she is not going to school. she does not have a job. she still lives with her parents...which for this girl in her situation is not any shade of good...she spends all day playing the sims. i can bet she is fractioning out even more as a person. she used to be such a vibrant, interesting, intense person. she had her own convictions and aspirations...she disintegrated. i saw this happening. this is what i thought and today it was confirmed.

doesn't mean she's going to be stuck like that forever. i mean, i hope she isn't stuck like that forever...heh, i wanted to hear about how she's doing. now i know.

it was jimmy's turn to ask a morose hypothetical question last night...about when i go away. if you've been reading this diary...or know me fairly well...or, actually, have had a conversation with me within the past month...you ought to have an idea of this: i freak the fuck out about a lot of shit that's in my head. i freak out at possibilities all the damn time. i am really prone to it.

i am not a cent concerned about how i feel and what will happen when i go away. that means i am really, really certain that i never want to lose that closeness with you. i'm deeply, profoundly sorry that you can't move on with me. more than i really want to talk about in a public forum, even one that very very few people read. are you concerned about my feelings changing...

don't spend anymore time being concerned. enjoy right now. if i am able to make this resolution...come now!

hmmmmm...and,

i DO have a secret

i just remembered it today. heh.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)