4:06 p.m. x 2009-06-11
currently listening to: "duet" by the rubblebucket orchestra
1) i have three applications to places with positions OPEN just sitting in front of me. i'm on the verge of spontaneous combustion.
2) i spent my afternoon walking down to the post office because i didn't know how to mail a letter. i wrote a love letter to mark and didn't know how to fix it with the proper postage or where to place it so it found its way to new york. the whole function of the flag on the mailbox completely slipped my mind. but, one way or another, it's on its way now!
3) i found a check for twenty five surprise dollars that i'm hoarding in order to raise the money to see mark again. i miss him BADLY and want to see him again as soon as possible regardless of whether that means he makes it down here or i go up again. but - this is wonderful - i don't want to see him so much because he's so out of my sight right now or because i'm anxious and insecure about that. i love him and it feels amazing, and just that much more amazing when i can express it immediately and physically to him, if only with a sharp, one-armed hug. even those are the best time with him. his arms are ACES.
4) WE MAY GO SEE THE BUILDERS AND THE BUTCHERS IN JULY. FUCK YES! I want to go to a concert with him so intensely! and that will be the perfect one! and they have a new album out?! AHHHH!
5) honestly, looking at these applications is making me sick. i need to submit them and get a job. not only will i be able to more readily transport myself to and from mark, i will be able to go grocery shopping. this is such a deplorable situation. who buys new sunglasses instead of fruit or things her children can make dinner out of? my mother.
if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start