you need its grind

4:24 p.m. x 2011-08-09

currently listening to: "holding onto black metal" by my morning jacket

i had an amazing job interview today. i took a half-day from the phone company and i was really anxious. the place, a community center, it is so gorgeous and on the water and i would take a pay/time cut to be there because it is such a beautiful opportunity - the person interviewing me gave me a tour of the whole facility and it has such a wonderful atmosphere and i think they would let me redesign their website! they're calling tomorrow. i met their chief operations officer and he was incredibly gracious and friendly.

ohhhh so much! i wasn't going to knock myself out after the disaster - which i didn't elaborate on, after i wrote two entries ago about getting a call about an interview. i actually had two opportunities, as a publication designer and a technical support consultant at another publisher, and i managed to bomb both, which was a learning experience. well, the tech thing i bombed. i don't even really know that, since the interviewer promised she'd be in touch with me, but i was pretty certain during the interview that i was not her kind of person. the publication design opportunity was just a loss. they didn't select me. it was through a temp agency and the temp agency didn't even alert me that i'd been turned down. ugh, boo. amidst all that soul-crushing my contract at the phone company was extended. and a new lead started supervising us. and she HATES ME. and she's been reporting in bizarre detail about me to the agency that's placed me there, and i do not like those people and i want to dissociate from them urgently. and because i'm technically performing a different service for the company, i had to go through training again. and i couldn't go on vacation. that was rough. i'm not managing myself well. i need to slow down. that's why i wasn't going to keep applying places.

THEN i saw this notice, which was anonymous/classified and i recognized some of the clues in it and thinking it was this place - i've known other people that have gone there/worked there and it's extremely well-reputed and lovely - i applied and IT WAS THE FIRST TIME AN INTERVIEWER EVER SAT ME DOWN AND SAID BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE "YOU HAVE SUCH AN IMPRESSIVE RESUME" - !!!!!!!!! because i do. and it was a great big ego disaster to be in the office of two publishers (one informational, one periodical) and have them scratch their heads as to why i was there (resume: columnist/editor/copy editor/production designer/proofreader/writing tutor).

and i am waiting to hear about something else. something else that could be incredible.

well, it all is.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11