full of woe and farther to go

8:00 p.m. x 2011-11-01

currently listening to: "the chalet lines" by belle & sebastians

someone with whom i've been working recently discovered the extent to which i'm busy. i am pretty busy. because i love it. working on small presses is something you do because of love, not because of how lucrative it is. she said she hopes i find the experience valuable. rereading her words exactly they were not malicious but my defenses went up upon first reading that, and i became very aware of how sensitive i am when it comes to my work. again, really. i've been made aware of it a few times in the past year. when i had the interview for the editorial assistant position and the publisher asked me for what on my CV have i been paid to do, i was pretty insulted (and proud to point out what i pointed out - of the jobs i had in college, two had never been paid positions before i made them paid positions). he very much meant "which of these are real jobs." very little of what i've ever been paid to do has resulted in my best work.

what i have been paid to do: (counting backwards) write for the web, manage client relations, manage a remote team of contractors, manage a continuous cold calling queue, perform complex data entry, assist in inventory management, make coffee with five kinds of brewing methods, operate a cash register, tutor peers in creative writing, and proofread an internationally distributed literary journal. to this list i will soon add sharking people for renegade loan payments.

i lie. i do all of that really well.

i intensely dislike when one goes out of one's way to illegitimatize something that i or anybody clearly works very hard at.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11