11:18 p.m. x 2003-08-01
it was cancelled.
and he has 3 screws in his hand for life.
i feel like shit. i'm allowed to, excuse me...i'm going to go mourn this lost oppertunity in my room alone with "dead leaves and the dirty ground". i guess the idea that i was actually going to be in the same vacinity as someone i admired was too much for the fates to handle.
i don't care how stupid an idea it was...but i was really hanging on to that. i was so happy clare invited me. i was looking foreward...so much...to that blithering crying/smiling stupor. I WANTED TO BE HAPPY LIKE THAT. I MISS THAT. I WAS RELYING ON THE FACT THAT HE MIGHT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE THAT.
ugh. *gratuitous melodrama button OFF*
that's that for this evening. merrr.
if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start