You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

my college visit yesterday was an overwhelming YES. it's in the middle of fucking everything. i love it. except we visited on a sunday morning when nothing was opened. and then i had sex eight times while/in between watching "fear and loathing in las vegas". previous record in a single evening being four. i'm a little brain dead. i am mostly brain dead. jimmy's going to check the school out with me soon, and the housing options.

today i had a wrap, three hotwings and a bowl of oatmeal. i also had no energy. that may very well be attributed to the fact that i had sex eight times yesterday, but i really didn't feel good about myself today. even only eating that. i have this ridiculously juvenile nagging feeling in my head that says remember when you could've just had the wrap...which is so dumb. i'm so frustrated about this. on the way out yesterday my mom went "you've definitely gained weight". she has no sympathy as to how i lost the initial weight. i'm tired of food being an issue.

my dad told my mom he thinks she looks like she has AIDS. all she's been doing is exercising and coming up with reasons to skip meals. eugh. i just have no patience.

last night was so mind-boggling, though. i shouldn't worry about shit. i am glad jimmy finds me attractive. i would just like to find me attractive.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)