my wasp in a jar

6:54 p.m. x 2011-09-12

currently listening to: "my silent undoing" by queen adreena

i do have a new job. not where i mentioned last time, where i so desperately wanted to work - they turned me down with a letter saying they'd just rather keep looking. which hurt for five seconds, then felt freeing. then i got a job that pays well. so well. i can move. i am moving. soon. i'd like to be able to wait until after xmas so i can get presents for people this year.

i didn't get the job at the press either, but i think i am still in the editor's mind for a specific other project that he said would get underway next year and he HAS kept me in mind all this time since i first applied to whatever position in march or something for which i didn't even interview. all for the best. the greatest, in fact. kara and i are headed to california soon. i got an advanced review copy of the best book i've read this year and my review is under serious and magnificently gracious consideration by a journal that would actually make my academic adviser proud that i was in in any way. actually if i tell him he might tell me i'm an abject failure that it is not my prose that is featured, and it is on the internet anyway so it doesn't matter, or he may not remember me anymore at all. none of that is really serious. my thinking isn't murdered that much. and the only person besides myself whose pride is of issue to me is seth, and he has been continuously perfect and miraculous and caring and affectionate and wonderful throughout leaving the bookstore, leaving the telephone company, my family stuff, school stuff, writing stuff, moving stuff, everything. as far as my pride is concerned i subscribe to the major garland briggs school of thought: achievement is its own reward. i'm pleased to have not gotten a "no" upon querying.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11